Pearls before short-statured swine

Free range eggs from happy hens, shaved honey-glazed ham from happy pigs, Parmigiano Reggiano = one lovingly prepared tasty fluffy omelette.

So where’s my payback?  Where are my happy children?  Visions of cherubs eating their dinner disappear with the first omelette missile launched into my face.  Splats on the floor compound the ingratitude.

Total waste of time, money and ingredients.  I could have been doing my nails or watching Oprah.

Apparently children don’t starve themselves so force feeding isn’t necessary.  But it’s not their nutrition I’m fretting about, it’s the wicked waste.

I’ve read that making a child eat everything on their plate leads to eating disorders in later life.  But what about the mental disorder for the cook right now?

I’m thinking of tallying up the time spent shopping for ingredients, preparing food, wiping said food off the floor then washing up, and presenting the bill to my children on their 18th birthday. Because I’m a loving mother, repayments can be made in installments.

Fish fingers tomorrow night.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by caitlin on December 15, 2010 at 12:00 am

    I hear you and feel your pain… the waste! Fish fingers it is, or sausages – unfortunately I have one of the only children to NOT like sausages! It’s killing me – the child can’t live on fish fingers alone!!

    Reply

    • Our house is littered with FRUIT CRIMES – half eaten apple/banana/nectarines nestled under the couch or carefully placed in a secret drawer. It’s a scientific study in rates of decay. The only winners in this experiment are the residents of the worm farm.

      Reply

  2. Good stuff, well done.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Christina on December 16, 2010 at 4:06 am

    Too right. And you know it’s bad when you wonder if you should even bother putting green veg on their plates!

    Reply

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